Thaxiss Talks Too Much

2007-12-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

History

2007-11-01T16:45:00.001-07:00

So, today Paul Tibbetts, who was the man who flew the bombing mission over Hiroshima, Japan on August 6, 1945, the occasion of the worlds first atomic bomb. He was 92 years old.

I'll give you a bit of background, shall I? This is WWII, Germany has been knocked out of the war, and we are planning a final invasion of Japan. Estimates of casualties if we hit the beaches indicate a 90 percent casualty rate in the leading divisions and more than 1 million casualties total. Even so, there is fierce debate in the US Government about whether the bomb should be used. Eventually, tho. President Harry Truman decides to go forward, reasoning that, at the very least the bomb will save American lives, and, considering the fierce resistance we have encountered so far, and the samurai culture of our enemy, the bomb is quite likely to save Japanese lives as well.

Instead, the bomb kills around 100 to 140 thousand people with thousands more dying later of related causes. In addition, the bomb spawns birth defects. A horrible cost in human loss and suffering, but it does indeed save American lives. A few days later we drop another one at Nagasaki, and Japan surrenders.

(A side note here. There are many who believe that even if Hiroshima was justifiable, Nagasaki was not. There was strong evidence that Japan was about to surrender, and many people urged Truman to wait a bit.)

However, this isn't really about justifying or condemning the actions, tho of course your response is welcomed. This is just a bit about General Tibbetts, and the changing nature of warfare.

By our standards today, everyone was committing war crimes then. Carpet bombing was standard procedure. The Americans were locking up not only war dissenters, but loyal Americans who had Japanese ancestry. The crimes of Germany and Japan of course are well documented, and Russia also was quite ruthless, tho given the severe losses they suffered, they perhaps were the most provoked.

(No, I haven't mentioned England, Italy, and other nations. I can't remember off the top of my head, and I just don't feel like doing any research. My point is everyone had blood on thier hands, by todays standards.)

Today, far from killing civilians as a matter of course, we go to great lengths to avoid thier deaths and feel outrage when they do happen, even if they are the civilian population of our enemy. Today, we are at "war with the government, not the people"), and we send humanitarian aid to those people. I like the change in mores, the more humanitarian face of war

Gen. Tibbetts himself expressed no reservations or regrets about his role, tho thru-out his life he was targeted for criticism as having committed an immoral act. He said he had a job to do, a duty to perform, and while not happy about killing so many people, he was happy to have ended the war and saved untold lives. I'm not sure he was as completely comfortable with his actions as he pretended, (killing 100, 000 people, regardless of thier status as an enemy, or as evil, or republican, whatever, would bother the fuck outta me). However, he was very clear that no shame attached to his actions, and that he considered his service honorable.

I'm interested to know how others feel. Personally, I feel I'm not competent to judge people who lived by the standards of other times. I do know that in war, it makes sense to place a higher priority on the lives of your people than those of your enemy.

Anyways....

(Salute) Thank you for your service, sir. Along with your thousands of comrades, we thank you for your service, and we owe you our freedom.

UPDATE!!

2007-10-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in Redfield with me girl now. I'm too far away from my family and friends, don't like my job and can't get along with one of Jens kids. (Yes, actually, the one the rest of the post is about.) In my defense, even JEN says it isn't me.) So things aren't going real well, and wasn't I surprised to learn how fast all this could turn insignificant.

Now, I apologize for taking so long to let ya'll know about this, but I can't talk about really serious or scary stuff right away. And this was scary as all hell.

In fact, it's so scary that, before you go any further, let me just tell you this...

Nobody died.

Ready?

Jen's 16 yr old daughter was in a severe auto accident. Witnesses said she lost it going around a curve (a little over the limit, but the wet road was the main culprit) rolled her car 6 times and was thrown thru the sunroof on the 3rd one. She suffered a broken left leg, a broken clavicle, 4 breaks in the pelvis, a broken tailbone, a bruised lung, spleen and ribs, and a lacerated kidney. Somehow, tho, no head trauma. That's right, no head trauma.

The girl is supposed to be dead. Everyone knows it. Instead, she's in the hospital for a little over a month, and she's coming home this Saturday. O, she's still mostly bedridden for the next 2 months, and there's physical therapy and all that, but the point is, she's supposed to be dead.

I'm not sure how to share the rest of it, it'd take too long. But here are some things that stand out for me.

That feeling in my stomach when Jen's boss called, and told me they were on the way so I could drive Jen to the hospital...

The horrible look in Jen's eyes. All we knew at this time is the girl had been thrown from her car and was being taken by helicopter to the hospital. Jen was staring losing a child right in the face.

The way calming Jen down and comforting her made it easier for me to handle.

The way Jen kept trying to make phone calls even when she was crying too hard to talk.

The incredible relief when we heard she was stable and conscious.

The shock I received seeing her on the stretcher as she came in. If you have ever seen a child bloody, broken, bruised and reaching for her momma, you know what I'm talking about. I cried a bit then, soon's I could get to privacy.

After that, it calmed down a bit. The doctors were talking to us every 5 minutes and the news was always good. No head trauma. Nothing wrong with the spinal cord. (She chipped a vertebra, but it doesn't matter.) She had feeling in her limbs. Then...

"...And we expect a full recovery. She's asleep right now, but you can go look at her, if you're quiet."

So she's in the hospital for a while, Jen stays with her, so after the drama goes away I'm even MORE lonely, but of course I can't complain because it's so much worse for everyone else. It's amazing how fast you settle into the routine. Work, hospital, home, lose at poker, work, hospital, home, lose at poker. lol.

Now, a little over a month later, she's coming home. Wild, huh?

Goodbye, Caseys

2007-08-25T01:20:00.000-07:00

Well, after a little more than 3 years, my time at Caseys has come to an end. I'm moving to Redfield to live with my girlfriend. Caseys is a convenience store with gasoline and a kitchen. We do a very brisk pizza pick up business. I am--was assistant manager. We've got about 15 people total working at the store, so we all know each other. You get kinda like family, ya know? Now....I'm done.

I'm SAD.

This was a job that I liked and excelled at. And I had so many friends, not just the coworkers, but the customers too. I'm gonna be lonely for a bit, I think. It's tuff to leave a job that you enjoy, especially when you love your coworkers and the customers you see so often.

Well, a little about the last shift, ok?

First of all, they threw me a party. I knew it was coming, but I didn't expect my area supervisor! I got gifts, and hugs, and cards, and a couple of girls were almost crying. Very touching.

My manager and my area supervisor took turns saying what I good job I'd done, and how they'd miss me, and if I ever wanted to come back, to just call. I knew I was good, but it's still nice to hear.

Then, all thru the night, customers were coming in just to wish me luck. More hugs, handshakes, and conversations that were way too brief because, even tho I was leaving, it was still Friday night, and the pizza orders were pouring in. But I made as much time as I could. I don't mind telling you, my eyes were rather wet at times, especially when some of the kids that are regulars in my store came in to give me a card and a hug, and tell me good bye. Kids are so sweet. It was totally worth all that money I spent helping them get thier candy when they were a little short.

The shift seemed to take forever, yet, time flew by, and before I knew it, we were locking up and walking out the door. A few last hugs, promises to keep in touch, then it's over. I can't believe I forgot to flip off the security camera.....

Mixed emotions here.

I know, I'll make new friends. And living with my girlfriend will bring a new level of joy, comfort and intimacy which can only enrich my life. It's not that I'm not looking forward with anticipation, I am, but at the same time I'm looking back with memories and love. (Wow, that's just WAY cheesy. But I worked on that phrase for a long time, and that's the best I can do.)

This post is already way to long.

So long, Caseys. It's been a lotta fun.

July 4th

2007-07-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

So it's Independence Day. Let's see...1776 to 2007, thats what, 231 years? So, 231 years ago, the American Colonies told the British Empire to fuck off. And the world may never be the same.

A quick look at things. The Continental Congress made it's first motion for independence a month earlier and the vote was taken on July 2, not July 4. (They worked on the wording for a bit) Also, we didn't achieve independence until around 1781, when Cornwallis surrendered to the combined American and French forces at Yorktown, which led to peace negotiations culminating in the Treaty of Paris (I think) on September 3, 1783. I often wonder why we don't remember Sep 3, not July 4.

Still, July 4 was the date on the document and it was the beginning of a great thing. July 4 rev erberates thru history, literally. (July 4 is a big date for America nearly a 100 years later during the Civil War, when Lee is turned back at Gettysburg and Grant takes Vicksburg, along with control of the Mississippi River.) Interesting coincidence, huh? I may research and find out what else happened on July 4. Anyway, people all over the world know july 4 and what it represents. And even to our enemies, the date must bring a thrill, for it speaks of freedom.

Independence, freedom, democracy, equality. These are the ideals which mark the American Nation. No, we don't always live up them, but when you reach that high, even failure accomplishes quite a bit. We're at a low point right now, but we've been there before and we've always bounced back. We'll do it again.

We started something big. When we got started, our status as a democracy made us nearly unique, and now, hundreds of nations practice democracy, and the growth continues. Mistakes are being made, and the cost is huge, but we have a chance now, to see democracy take place in places where you would not have thought it possible a couple decades ago. Along with our friends and allies, we have a chance at a world where freedom, democracy and human rights are the rule, not the exception. If we can make it-and I think we can-we're gonna leave a world for our grandchildren that surpasses the wildest dreams of even the most optimistic of our founding fathers.

First, tho, we gotta get rid of Bush.

A brief aside here. Even tho England and America fought 2 bitter wars at the very beginning, we've been fast friends ever since, standing side by side in several large wars. Muskets and cannon fire couldn't hide the fact that our nations share many common ideals, human rights, freedom, peace and a commitment to face evil where we find it. We're squabbling a bit now, but it don't mean a thing. If something or someone threatens one of us, then, like a brother, the other one will leap to lend aid. You're just gonna have to get used to it, we LIKE each other.

That's all for now!

More pretzels, please

2007-06-29T02:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, George Bush claimed executive priviledge and defied subpoenas from Congress for the testimony of some of his underlings.

It is the latest, (tho not the last) and most egregious (but only to date) offence of a President who is managing with his ego instead of his brain, and who shows no intention of learning from his mistakes.

From a disastrous war with Iraq, to Abu Graib, to incredible incompetence in the Israeli-Palestine conflict, to the continuing inaction in the Darfur massacres, George Bush has shown a massive talent for ignoring common sense and the will of the American people.

Now, he is defying subpoena's from Congress in his latest attempt to stall thier investigation. Claiming executive priviledge, he has said those subpoena'd will not show up. AND he blamed congress for it. This latest act of executive arrogance gives us frightening insight into the man.

He is now desperate, and angry. You know what's coming next. He's gonna attack Iran. And a nation full of people who like us (despite what the goverment of Iran says, Americans are generally liked by Iranians) will quickly learn to hate us.

Iraq will be what he is remembered for, see. And Iran's government is helping the terrorists in Iraq. We all know this. Plus, there's the nuclear weapons thing. So he thinks he has a chance to kill 2 birds with one stone by dethroning the Iranian government. But it wont work.

Well, think about it, nothing else he's done has worked. But here's what's gonna happen. Let's say he destroys the nuclear capabilities of Iran AND removes the government. Now the terrorists have ANOTHER country to spread their war. We probably won't be able to set up a government there, either, and so the population will suffer, and our image will suffer, and more people will decide to fight us. He'd likely fail in at least one of his goals anyway, but in this instance, failure and success accomplish the same thing, another country who's corrupt government and oppressed people find common ground in thier hatred of America.

I bet bin Laden sends him thank you cards. Our president couldn't do more for the evil we're facing if he tried.

Remember when he almost choked to death on a pretzel? We were so close....

Time

2007-05-12T05:21:00.000-07:00

His name is Lou, and he's 76 years old. His wife tells me he has dementia. Something about the frontal lobes, which I didn't understand, but the effect, she says, is a lot like Alzheimer's Disease. He can't learn anything new, no matter how many times you show him, he can't manage simple tasks on his own, and he has a scary tendency to wander off. On bad days, he doesn't always know who she is.

In better times, he got a degree in Engineering, raised 2 children and saved a couple peoples lives in Vietnam by efficient first aid after a shell hit his base. He was told he was going to get a medal, but it never came thru. He never cared about that, she says. He was just happy to get out alive, and anyway, he figured the combat troops should get the medals.

He must have been something special, because by the way his wife looks at him and talks to him, you can tell she simply adores him.

"I don't care what problems he has" she tells me. "I love him and I'm lucky to have him."

She didn't have any pictures in her purse of him as a young man, but we've all seen them before. Young, healthy, athletic men, with t-shirts showing bulging biceps, and smiles that show they don't have the slightest idea that someday another person will look at that photograph and try to reconcile what they see there with the frail gentleman with shaking hands and liver spots standing in front of them.

Time is weird that way. It creeps by, unnoticed, then one day, you're asking "Where has the time gone?" It changes people, slowly but inevitably, until they're completely different people. Healthy, vital young men into palsied old timers, vibrant minds into nightmarish, delusional confusion. Somehow, even tho you see the changes day by day, you don't notice the effects until something happens that makes them jump out at you and you wonder "when did that happen?"

We say it heals all wounds, but it strikes me more as a great thief, slowly taking friends, family, health, memories, and at the last, even life. It's kinder to some than others, but in the end, it betrays us all.

Lou deserved better from time than to be left standing in a daze, completely ignorant of how important he is, how much he means to others, how much more he used to be. I look at him with pity, but also trepidation, because he makes me wonder what time is planning for me. I hear my parents talking about me as a child, I have memories of myself in earlier times, and already there's a lack of recognition of that younger self. At least I still have the memories. Lou doesn't even have that.

Virginia Tech

2007-04-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

Ever since this happened, I've been trying to come up with something inspirational, or comforting, or at least with a lesson to be learned from all this. I just couldn't do it.

There's nothing good, or with the potential for good, in this situation. There are no lessons to learn, no "We shall overcome" speach to make, no comfort.

I'm sure other people will come up with lessons to be learned from all this. The holes the mentally ill slip thru, the ease with which they get guns, the ineptness with which the police/college security handled the situation....But these are all things we already know, all lessons we should have already learned.

And what words of hope, of inspiration, can assuage the pain, the loss we all feel? What message can heal the wound, not only of the deaths, the senseless waste of so much energy and potential, but of the devastating reminder that evil triumphs far too often?

America, it seems, is destined to have our innocence shattered, our naivette destroyed, our blinders removed. The Oklahoma City bombing, Sep 11, the wars in Iraq and Afganistan, the tragic loss of so many vital souls at VA Tech, all this and more pile upon us and there is nothing we can point to that helps the pain and the frustration. We can only acknowledge the loss, the relearned lesson that even here, in the most powerful and free country in the world (in our opinion, at least), we are not secure, not immune to evil, and that, at any time, any place, any one of us could be ripped away because of senseless hate.

This is no good.

I love words, and language. I love to work with them, to write them, feel the rhythm, the poetry, and the surge of feeling they evoke. But there is no comfort in them now. Even if I were to express myself at the height of what eloquence I can muster, rather than trudging thru this inadequate composition, they would do no good, teach no wisdom, provide no comfort.

There's nothing to find.

I give up

2007-04-13T07:42:00.001-07:00

This part should have been made a while ago, but I didn't know what to say. Tho I can talk about anything and everything, the really troubling things have to whirl around in my head a bit before I talk about them. I need to say that a friend at Poker.com is facing a critical illness and to wish him well. Don't wanna mention names for privacys sake, but just wanna let you know how sorry I am for your situation and that I wish you the very best of luck. From what your wife and daughter say about you, if anyone can beat this you can. I don't believe in prayer, myself, but my parents do, and so I've got them and the church they go to praying for ya.

You're a real stand up guy, one it's easy to like and respect, and you don't deserve this at all. Best of luck, bro. If there's anything I can do.....

Now for the easy part...

I think I'm done with poker. Yes, I've said that before, but every time I've quit, it's been in temper, or "on tilt". This is different. First of all, i start college end of this month, so I won't have time anyway.

I've been on a bad run for probably more than 6 months which has just been TORTUROUS, and haven't really enjoyed the game since I came back 3 months ago. I've been asking myself for a while why I bothered playing when I wasn't having a good time. I still believe I can win at poker, but it's just not worth the frustration and disappointment. And I honestly am starting to believe the bad run wasn't gonna end. Ever.

Not that there's anything wrong with the site. If you want to play online poker, and therapy doesn't solve the problem, then Poker.com is still the best. I've no problem with the site. The reason I've removed the links to the site is so I can keep the blog with out having to look at poker advertisements. (Game's kinda hard for me to walk away from, for some reason.)

I'd suspect I have gambling problems, except I only play poker, and mostly just online. I've never lost any amount of money that was even remotely troublesome to do without, and I willingly step away from the game when something else comes up. (Not a gambling problem, then, a BOREDOM problem. I'll have to work on that.)

I hope (not plan, nothing so definite, I know my lack of will power) to fill the time with exercise, and getting out more. Maybe find a new hobby. I've had the guitar for more than a year now. Maybe it's time.

So, no more poker talk on the site. I think I'll probably use it as a diary and as a way to practice my writing skills. You know, essays, humorous articles, scathing comments about Bush, etc.

Hope you like it!

Premature Evaluation

2007-03-30T05:39:00.000-07:00

I spoke too soon. The poker gods have struck again. I wasn't losing my bankroll fast enuff with bad cards, so they changed tactics. Tonite, I lost 4 times with 3 of a kind. once to someone who'd flopped a higher set, but mostly to top pair that caught, or some idiot on a draw that decided heads up was good pot odds. I also lost with a full house. For the longest time I've been on a bad run, sometimes with break of a day or 2 to give me false confidence. For a little bit I win again, but then the bad beats starting rolling again. It's so bad now that if I'm 80 percent to win, I think its a coin flip. I've lost 3/4 of my stack and 90 % of the time it's been coolers, or bad beats. I've got skills, knowledge and experience, and I'm completely helpless.

I must be freaking sick to keep playing this game. Nearly 5 months now I been steady losing with the strategy of playing good poker, and I keep coming back! What the hell is wrong with me, I don't know, but i need a shrink or something. Punching walls, cussing at the tables, venting in the forum, I'm acting like a total jerk.

Here's what poker is doing for me. Taking my money, torturing me and making me feel bad about myself. I'm a good man. I know it. My friends, family and co workers know it. But poker turns me into a whiny, ranting little bitch. It's just so frustrating to keep doing what you're supposed to be doing and losing.

When I start school at the end of April, I'm not gonna have time for poker, and that's probably for the best.

If you're looking for an online poker site. Poker.com is the best around, but to be sure you wanna play online poker, hit yourself in the nuts with a sledge hammer. If you like it, online poker is your thing.

Poker, school, and illness

2007-03-26T00:22:00.000-07:00

Back again! I'd taken to playing quite a bit less of poker, as for a couple of weeks, I wasn't able to win no matter what. Was getting VERY frustrating. But I don't seem to be able to quit (shrug) and at least this time I didn't lose much money. Made some questionable posts in the forum, but at least this time I didn't donk away my stack. Growth as a poker player, if not as a person. Still, I think I deserve credit for the posts I typed but didn't post.

Had a couple interesting hands in the 50k Sunday. Fairly early in the tourney, I'd been stone cold dead the whole time (0 for 43, eek!) then I called with pocket 2's in late position and caught trips. There was a raise, a reraise and I went all in. 1 caller WITH HIGHER TRIPS! I'm 4 or 5 percent to win here, theres only a single card that can help me. I'm cursing my luck when wouldn't you know it....2 on the turn. lol.

I did nothing wrong, of course, but still felt guilty about the bad beat. I got fairly deep in the tourney, went out 2 out of the money because...KK ran into AA twice, then my all in with KQsuited ran into AA again. Can't complain TOO much, as I should have been gone earlier, but kinda a cruel way for lady luck to play with me.

So I bought into another tourney and hit the tables for a bit while I waited for it to start. I've been playing very little at the tables, essentially trying to get my buyin for the tourneys back. I've taken so many bad beats lately, and seen so many "WTF rivers" that my confidence is low, and so I'm changing tables a lot to protect my winnings. Feel bad about that, but until Fortuna quits frowning at me, I have to protect myself as best I can.

This time, however, things went much better. Not only did I win my buyin for the tourney, but I more than doubled my buyin at the tables! I didn't know I was allowed to win anymore. Then, to top it off, I made money in the tourney! Could have made a bit more, actually, but I picked up 99 and called a super bluffer when he went all in. He'd been playing really loose, raising with anything and everything, but wouldn't you know it, this time he had a higher pair (Queens) and I was out.

Still, happy to make some money and actually the last few days I've made money so I seem to be coming out of my bad run. There's another one right behind it, of course, but that's poker.

So I've decided to go back to school. I'm gonna get my bachelor's degree and see if I can't get a job that pays enuff for the headaches it gives me. There's a lot of work to do with going back to school and also a lot of stress. I don't handle change well, and this is changing EVERYthing. First, I'm going into debt, of course, to pay for school. 2nd, it's changing my work schedule, 3rd, I'm gonna be broke for a long time. (What student isn't?) 4th I just don't like school. lol. I'm a very curious person, interested in a lot of things, but don't like school. Go figure. Hopefully it will pay off. I'm even nervous about this, as my Associates degree led to me working in a convenience store/restaurant. Cross your fingers for me.

Now to finish up. I've been sick for a few weeks now. First I had a cold that I just couldn't shake and now, I've got sinus headaches and difficulty sleeping. Sheesh, lay off me already, huh?

Alrite, that's all for now. I'll see ya 'round, ok?

The Big Boom Theory

2007-03-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so according to the Ancient Mayans, the Hopi Indians, the ancient Chinese and a couple Persian cultures, the end of the world is coming in Dec, 2012. The fact that all these separate, disparate cultures pick the same time frame was kinda a giveaway that something major was in the works.

One thing many advanced ancient cultures all had in common was astronomy. They plotted the location of the stars, and predicted thier movements with amazing precision. But, given the propensity for disaster that was such a part of ancient times, pretty much anything significant or unusual was taken to mean something bad was coming. After all, disease was rampant, famine was just around the corner, and even if things were fine today, the world was full of "barbarians" who were just a bad hair day away from invading your lands, stealing your food, women, favorite sandals, etc.

It turns out that on that day, (I think it's Dec 22, but I'm not REAL sure) The Earth, the Sun, and the Galactic Center (where in lies a MASSIVE Black Hole) will all be perfectly aligned. Well, now we know what caused the furor, don't we. But given that the earth revolves around the sun, and the sun revolves around Galactic Center, and given enuff time, this is bound to happen. Unusual, sure, but where's the harm?

On a seemingly unrelated note, there's also the looming possibility of a Pole Shift, which is where the Magnetic Pole shifts and changes the earths rotation, causing wild changes in climate change, as well as more immediate disasters, such as earthquakes, floods, tsunamis and also the Atlanta Falcons to win the Super Bowl, which in turn will cause Hell to freeze over.

Kinda a big day. This happens once every 28,000 years (approx.) and apparently, we're kinda due. Even a small shift will cause major problems for us, and a big shift could spell disaster, perhaps even the end of civilisation, at least as we know it.

Well, I mean, think about it. Tsunamis wiping out coastal cities everywhere, mass extinctions due to destruction of habitat, large areas of the world suddenly freezing over, or drought/ flooding hitting major agricultural areas, causing large food shortages, forests drying up from lack of rain, seas forming in your favorite ball park...On the other hand, Washington DC is near the coast, and so vulnerable to destruction, which could wipe out the US Government, so it's not all bad.

Now to tie it all together.

On the Discovery Channel, they're speculating about the lining up of the Earth, Sun and Galactic Center causing the Pole shift, thinking maybe these cultures knew what was up. We certainly live in interesting times, and I admit it sent a shiver or two down my spine, not only the possible disaster, but these people picking up on it so long ago.

Now, I personally don't buy this, feeling these people saw something unusual coming and assigned disaster to it, as per standard procedure. I don't see how this lining up can cause anything. But I know 2 things.

1. We don't need this celestial oddity for a pole shift to happen, which gives me yet ANOTHER thing to worry about and
2. Come 2012, I'm going all out, just in case. Cause if the worse DOES happen...

I don't need to worry about credit card debt.

Bonzo

2007-02-27T23:11:00.000-08:00

So my girlfriend and I are invited to the house of one of her co workers for dinner. I've met her and her husband and they totally rock so I'm looking forward to it.

We walk in the door and are greeted by Bonzo, the worlds largest dog. Seriously, this dog is HUGE. Imagine a dog the size of a car. Now imagine that dog being eaten in one bite by Bonzo. We're talking big. He growls at me, then barks. Standard doggie way of saying "Company's here!" but this dog makes me nervous. I stand 5 feet and 11 inches, and this dog, on all 4 legs, looks me dead in the throat. (gulp) I say "Nice doggie" and wonder if my double chin will protect my windpipe long enuff for me to confess my sins. Probably not, there's a lot of sin to confess, and anyway, "pornography afficionado" takes a loooong time to say.

He's sent out of the room by his masters, and we settle down for some conversation, then move to the kitchen for dinner. Bonzos dish is there, along with Bonzo, and we're all eating dinner at the same time. Bonzo finishes first and he doesn't look full. I THINK he's eyeing my plate, but I'm not totally sure, and what if he's just trying to fool me? I decide to play it smart and I offer him some yum yums. He quickly becomes VERY friendly towards me, and just as I'm thinking I may be safe once his appetite is satisfied, he decides to satisfy a DIFFERENT appetite, and before I know it, I'm the object of a dogs affection.

Or at least my leg is. Now, this isn't the first time this has happened, apparently my leg looks a lot like a bitches ass, but it is the first time it's been with a dog big enuff to make me worry about a messy breakup. But the breakup isn't the only messy possibility here, so I try to pull my leg away. Bonzo's every bit as strong as he looks tho, and he growls again, so I decide to ask for help.

Only to hear them laughingly say "He LOVES you!"

He loves me. Well, now. I gotta say I'm a bit relieved. Because, while we may hurt the ones we love, we rarely EAT them. On the other hand, while I love Bonzo, I'm not IN love with him, and so I'm a bit uncomfortable with the present level of intimacy.

Besides, it could be awkward, socially speaking. For one thing, what if my woman considers this cheating? Sure, it's only a leg, but it's in a compromising position and women have got way upset over that, even when it's a much smaller apendage. For another, what if Bonzo wants more than a one time fling? That could be wierd. I'd say no, of course, (I'm holding out for a dog with a 2 story doghouse) but you HAVE to offer to be friends in this situation, and he'd probably take advantage of that to keep trying. You know, have me over to hang out at the water bowl with the gang ("have a couple of drinks, sniff a few asses, it'll be fun!") but then he'd brag about licking himself (dogs are SO talented) start with the jokes about who invented THAT position, and eventually...he'd be trying to lift a leg.

Anyway, since my hosts aren't going to be helpful, I have to take matters into my own hands. (speaking metaphorically, I DO assure you) and so, distracting Bonzo with one slightly used steak, I take back possession of one slightly used leg. Bonzo thinks it over, then, after a last "what if" look at my leg, he decides to be satisfied with the meat.

Over the course of the night, thanx to Bonzo's generosity of spirit, his affectionate disposition and my own skill at ear scratching we become the best of friends, and Bonzo agreed to put his romantic disappointment behind him. And, with the exception of some crotch sniffing, and one quickly aborted attempt (other leg, this dog really spreads it around!) he is on his best behavior. I'm not sure I trust him, but I told him to call me.

But if, on a moonlit nite, you hear a howl....take a message.

Holy hell, what a night.

2007-02-21T00:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I come out of work, and my car isn't there. I'm cussing myself for an idiot because I was running late today and left the key in the ignition. I get a ride home and call the cops. They come over to my house and...did you know you need the license plate number for your car to report it stolen? I didn't. I also didn't have it. I know the title is in my house, but I can't find it, and the cop is sitting on my sofa with "this guy is a BIG moron" radiating off his body.

Finally I say, "Look, I'll go to my insurance company tomorrow and get the info, and I'll call you back." He says ok, and gives me his card. Then he leaves. A couple of seconds later, the door buzzes and my brother answers. He comes back with a different cop behind him asking me to step outside. She says my car just pulled up. We get outside and sure enuff, there's my car, with a friend (a title now under SERIOUS danger of revocation) of mine leaning up against it. At this point, I have been vehicle impaired for more than 1 1/2 hours. AT LEAST.
"Dude, what the **** are you doing with my car?"
"I had to give Tony a ride home."
"Who the **** is Tony? And what the **** are you doing with my car?"
I tell the officers this is a friend of mine, that he wouldn't steal, he's welcome to borrow my car, he's just an idiot for taking the car without telling me.The officers tell me that
a) he told them I said he could borrow the car, (No, sir.) that
b) he said he used my car to drive a friend to his home across town (That must be Tony, but the time frame confuses me. you can WALK across town in 30 minutes), that
c) his license was suspended (huh?) and
d) HE'S BEEN DRINKING!!!! (O, I'm beating your ass, I'm beating your ass, I'm beating your ASS!)
The cop says, "I understand how you feel, but I wouldn't recommend it. And anyway, you can't do it right now, he's under arrest for the alcohol thing."
And they take him away.

Much ado about nothing

2007-02-18T01:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back again. Been a while. I know my posts are slowing down and I apologize for that. Real life has a nasty habit of sticking its nose in where it isn't welcome.

My bankroll in poker is rebounding nicely. Few bad sessions and a bit of tilting had it down quite a bit, so I'm recovering again. AGAIN, I say. :) I don't think I'll ever learn to adjust to bad runs. Actually, what I won't ever do is gain the emotional control to adjust to bad runs. I know perfectly well what to do, I just don't do it.

I actually came in 2nd in a tourney 2day. Got very lucky to make the headsup, then got quite UNlucky to lose the match. Ace hi flush against a full house. Not much you can do, lick your wounds and get ready for the next one. At least I'm making money again.

So I've been trying out this Guildwars game I'd been hearing about. I kinda like it. Not as much as I used to enjoy Everquest, but it's a good time, and with no monthly fees, it's well worth playing. I used to love EQ. (sigh) Spent 4 years playing it, mostly in the same guild and made some friendships I miss even now, 4 or 5 years after I'd stopped playing. But with every expansion the game got harder and harder to enjoy and after a bit, I was tired of spending my leisure time trying to get a group so I could play. Anyone reading this ever play EQ? I tried WoW and EQ2, also, but they weren't the same.

I mentioned last time that I had stepped down as Assistant Manager where I work. They are allowing me to continue to work there, full time, with no loss of pay even after the new Assistant is trained. I think that is VERY generous of them, but I want to leave as soon as I can. I get the impression that it could be quite awkward for a new boss to have to work with the old boss. Plus, after 2 and 1/2 years acting like the boss, old habits are bound to betray me into overstepping my bounds.

But I think I may already have found another job. Still it's nice to know if I don't find something right away I'm not facing unemployment.

Well, that's all for now, guys. I'll see ya round.

2007-02-10T01:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry so long between blogs. Life has been REALLY hectic recently, and I've had so much on my mind that I couldn't talk about ANY of it.

I've stepped down as Assistant Manager where I work. Too much stress and frustration for a dead end job, even if I often enjoy it. I agreed to stay until a replacement was hired and trained, of course. They didn't want me to go, which was flattering to my ego, and genorously said that I could stay on at the same rate of pay and hours. But now I need to find another job. Wish me luck. Meanwhile, how awkward is work gonna be now? Oof.

I'm not liking it for a couple reasons. First, tuff to find jobs right now. Second, I like this job and really like the people I work with. Third...well, changing jobs is never easy, is it. What if I end up in a job I hate?

Income tax has rolled around again and I'm planning to use it as a down payment on a nicer car. My car is starting to show signs of age. (Can you put a car out to pasture? lol) So much for buying some fun things. O well. Have to act responsibly sometime.

My diet is going pretty well. Bad weather has slowed down my excersize, and the stress at my job and other things have made me bend the diet a bit, but I'm sticking to it, and the weight loss continues to mount. Cross your fingers for me, please.

I'll get back to ya. Time for work. Cya round!!!

Who says you gotta be good?

2007-01-31T00:57:00.000-08:00

I just won another tourney!!! I think I played very well, even tho I won on a total suckout. We got heads up and he had a big chip lead. We played quite a long time, trading the lead back and forth a few times. Finally, I caught middle pair on the flop and raised. He reraised all in. I thought about it for a while and called. He had top pair. Doh!! But I caught 2nd pair on the turn and won the tourney. I kinda thought he had it, but he could have been raising with 2 over cards, a smaller pair, or anything. Plus, after his raise, if I fold I'm crippled again. At this point it was 730 am, i'd been up for more than 24 hours and was quite fatigued. The thought that I didn't wanna fight my way back from small stack may have had something to do with my call. Willing to concede 2nd place if indeed he had it.

It was the only bad beat I dished out all tourney, but it was a doozy. I feel bad for Nzealand, who played a helluva game and deserved the win. But I don't feel TOO bad, because twice I've been heads up, with the chip lead and had the other guy all in against my better hand only to have that horrible flop steal the tourney from me. So, Nzealand, if it helps, I know how you feel. Thanx for being so nice about it.

Like the last 2 tourneys I've won, it came after I'd flamed the forums out of frustration with some bad times. I don't handle bad runs well sometimes, I'm my own worse enemy at the poker tables and sometimes embarrassed by my behaviour. Posting that sort of rant does me no good, and only makes me feel worse.

However, having noticed this pattern, I plan to post a rant in the forums this Sunday, right before the big freeroll. lol. That trophy is MINE!!

My girlfriend is in Colorado this week, so I can't call and brag to her about it. One of quite a few things I need to talk to her about, so I'm missing her a bit. Last time she went to Colorado on business I took a vacation from work and went with her. Was a great time, too. Woulda liked to go, but just not doable this time.

I went to buy new clothes this week. My old clothes aren't fitting so well. I know I'm losing weight, because the scales tell me I've lost 27 lbs, but because I see myself all the time, I couldn't really tell the difference in my body. Buying new clothes really drove it home for me, tho. I've gone from a xxl to an l in shirts and 42/44 size pants to a 38. "Vera nice!" as Borat would say. So, between the Tourney wins and the weight loss I'm feeling pretty good!

Cya round, guys

I WON!!

2007-01-26T01:32:00.000-08:00

Well, first things first. I'm still losing weight and it seems to be getting easier. I'm down to 223 lbs. That is a full 27 lbs, and I am lighter than any time in the last 15 years. It really looks like I'm gonna do it this time. The old habits are starting to die. Now, when I want a snack, I look for an apple or a banana, not chips or fried foods! I only really want bad foods when presented with them. Thin for life, baby!!! Now, I just need to win enuff money to buy clothes that fit.

Next things next. I just won my 2nd multi table tourney at http://www.poker.com! Came in first out of about 90 players, so "Yay, me!" I must admit tho, I got REALLY lucky. Not that I played bad, but my great hands kept running into better hands, then sucking out on them. After the bad run I've had at the tourneys lately, I could argue that I deserve the good breaks, but I like to win with out handing out bad beats. Still, my goal is too win 5 tourneys in the next year, and now I've 11 months to win 4. Wish me luck.

Last things last. This tourney will come in handy, because I moved up to some higher stakes and lost a good bit. Turns out, even tho my bankroll could handle it, I'm uncomfortable with the amounts, and I play too timid. The fact that our government is making it so difficult to deposit makes me nervous about going broke. Till I either get a lot more money, or become more comfortable, I'll not be moving up in stakes again anytime soon.

Ok, I'll see ya 'round!

Poker for Fun?

2007-01-22T05:57:00.000-08:00

So Poker.com did this upgrade and they added several new games. Draw, triple draw, stud and badugi among them. I have no idea how to play these games and in fact, I didn't even know the rules for Badugi. But I played them anyway (for very low stakes, of course.)

I had a blast! Didn't expect to win, didn't even CARE about winning (which was good, 'cause I didn't) just throwing cards and chips around with abandon. What a great time. Turns out, poker can be fun, if you play for fun. I'm just not sure how to do that with texas hold 'em.

I love poker. I have since I started playing it. But the only game I took the trouble to learn was Texas Hold 'em. I worked very hard at my game and in fact I have achieved some small measure of skill. But I wonder if I tarnished my enjoyment of the game a bit. (No, guys, this isn't a repeat of my post at the poker.com forum.) After all, I have my best times at the poker table playing games I don't understand and don't expect to win.

Poker is one of the few hobbies that can really ruin your day. A hunter/fisherman comes back with out a prize, he's still happy and relaxed. Go to any poolroom and you'll see people play for hours, never win, and still have a great time. I've played basketball (this was quite a few pounds and even more years ago) for hours, losing every game, and having fun. But a poker player has a bad session and he's still grumbling about it hours later.

Tru, this is a trend of mine even outside of poker. I get interested in something, work myself to death at it, then the hobby becomes a subject of stress because I've focused so hard on winning at it that I don't enjoy it. For me, at least, every hobby has a point past which it isn't fun anymore. And I've crossed that line with most of my hobbies.

For instance, I taught myself to play chess at 5. Was beating my parents by 6, and by 8, I was beating everyone I knew. Thought I was the worlds greatest player, then found out I wasn't. But I liked chess, and enjoyed it for years. But I decided to see how good I could get. Worked very hard at it, was ranked in the 1900's for a bit, but didn't like it anymore. Too much work for a hobby. Now, I enjoy chess, but I'm nowhere near as good as I was. I did the same thing in bowling, where it took me leaving the game for a few years to discover that, altho I COULD carry an average above 200, the game wasn't any fun at that level. To carry a 200 average, I was bowling 4 or 5 games a day, 6 or 7 times a week. The burnout was not long in coming. So I cut back to 2 or 3 games twice a week, my average dropped to 180, but I was having fun again.

But poker is a bit different in that you can make money at it. And I have. Not a lot by some peoples standards, but thru my winnings at live and online poker, I have purchased a used car, a computer, eyeglasses, clothes, gifts, and countless nice dinners with my girlfriend. The money involved can make it REALLY easy to lose sight of the fact it should be fun. At what point does a hobby become an income opportunity? And is it still a hobby?

Now, even with out money, I still love poker. I want to make that clear. Like any social game, it's the talking, laffing, drinking, etc that makes it fun, but I do love the game itself, the strategies, the discipline, the exitement. After all, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have tried so hard to succeed at it.

But I'm not a professional. I'm not semi-pro. I'm not even a talented amateur. And I'm never gonna be. I'm just a dude who plays cards. Maybe I play well, I don't know. I know there are many, many players out there who would laff at what I call good poker. But I do know I love poker and want to continue to enjoy playing it.

At some point then, I need to enjoy the game even when I expect to lose. If I don't play well, or if the cards are cold, or if the suckouts are in full effect, I still need to be able to get up from the table with a smile. How do you work at succeeding, with out ruining your enjoyment when you don't succeed?

Internet Gambling

2007-01-18T20:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, 2 ex NeTeller executives were arrested and charged with money laundering, in connection with transferring funds to gambling sites for American customers. They're not Americans, the COMPANY isn't an American business, but they were arrested and charged nevertheless.

Bill Frisk, an ex politician, had been trying for some time to get a law passed to go after internet gambling. (Internet porn, however, flies under his radar) His attempts were repeatedly rejected, and so he put it in as a last minute addition to a Port Security Act, which meant the politicians had to accept it, as voting against the PSA would have been career suicide.

Altho he later lost his re election bid, the damage is done. Altho at this point it is not illegal for Americans to gamble over the internet, the new laws prohibit banks, etc from processing these transactions. Essentially, they are attempting to make it impossible for us to get money to and from the sites. This is doomed to failure, as there are person to person transfers, and so eventually, a law will be passed criminalizing internet gambling, and also I look for the US Government to put pressure on Internet providers to deny US customers access to gambling sites.

Let me be clear. This was a despicable, underhanded and deceptive tactic to enforce a law that is unjust and an unfair attempt to limit personal freedom and invade personal privacy. (Yes, an invasion of privacy. How are they going to know I'm playing poker online unless they access my internet records? So, if you have sites you'd be embarrassed to have people know you visited, this law affects you too.) I'm 37 years old and the government is telling me I can't play poker, unless I do it at a casino, or a friends home, or a table in the park, or basically anywhere but a computer. The illogic of it would be funny if it wasn't so infuriating.

The Poker Players Alliance http://www.pokerplayersalliance.org is committed to preventing this, asserting the unfairness of the law, it's unpopularity (polls show 75 % of Americans disagree with the law) and also that poker is a game of skill, not gambling. I don't look for them to have much success, tho. If the Government is willing to dismiss the opinion of 75 percent of Americans, then they won't listen to the PPA either.

Children of Men

2007-01-15T22:49:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update on poker. I've nearly recovered, thanx to a GREAT session today before work. Hit the .10/.25 tables to start my recovery, but left up $55. I played very well, I thought, stealing some pots, showing discipline when deciding to chase draws, etc. But I'd also like to send a shout out to those wonderful people who refused to believe my reraises and INSISTED on donating. Still, I was about $5 short of where I was before yesterday, but I played a short session tonite AFTER work, and now, I'm....EVEN!! Can the WSOP be far behind?

Ok, I mentioned yesterday that I'd gone to see "Children of Men" and that it made quite an impression on me. It's set in England, in the year 2027 (No, I'm not giving the movie away). Women have become infertile, and the worlds gone to hell.

The movie paints a grim picture, but the worse part is that it's totally plausible. Essentially, you hve a combination of the terrorists winning, and the despair caused by the knowledge that the race is doomed. When I first saw the advertisments for this movie, I said to my girlfriend "If there's one truth to this movie, it's that we won't let the fact that we can't make any more of us keep us from killing us." I was right, at least about the movie.

Forget about the despair everyone feels every part of every day, knowing that in 50 or 60 years, it's over. That is just a movie, no biggie. What got me was the background of the movie. Apparently, the terrorists win. England is the only sane country left in the world, elsewhere, you hve nuclear winters, cities perpetually on fire, and intense civil war. And even in England, you have burnt out farms, contrasting with peaceful, busy city streets, high technology and a luxurious standard of living set against pitched battles in apartment complexes and mobs roaming in the woods. You have illegal immigration prevention carried to WILD extremes and a place where escaping a terrorist attack by a bare 2 seconds is so commonplace as to merit no comment at all.

We're involved in a World War in real life, I believe, and the wrong side winning could easily lead to the world displayed in the movie. Very nerve wracking to watch a movie about a future we may not escape.

That's called variance

2007-01-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

Poker's really taking it to me right now. I just finished a poker tourney where I got not a single playable hand. Finally reraised in frustration against an all in and a call with 33. Knew I was probably beat, but I was already out of the tourney mentally, and figured either I'd be out of the tourney, which was fine, or I'd triple up and get fired up again.

And at the tables, I decided to take a shot above where I normally play. It didn't go well. My overpair JJ ran into QQ, and then my QQ ran into JJJ. Down about 50 for the day, which is almost a quarter of my stack. And to top it off, I had to leave the computer for a second at a lower stakes game, only to find out I'd been gone too long and my 66 had been folded. Naturally, I caught the 6, and the 2 top pair woulda paid me off for everything I had at the table. Add to this a couple of evil cards on the river and it's not been my best day. Sigh. It's all part of the game, and I'll get it back, I know, but sometimes this game can just make you feel helpless.

I went to a movie last night "Children of Men" It's quite a good movie, and I recommend it, but I warn you, it will disturb you. Not that it's graphic, but...I wanted to talk about it, but I need some time to be sure I fit my words to my feelings. I'll post it tomorrow.

See ya round, guys.

Diets, women, and world events

2007-01-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

You know how hard it is to make yourself a salad when you have 3 guys eating hamburgers, french fries and macaroni and cheese in front of you? You mumble cuss words under your breath, I can tell you that.

This is the part of the diet I fear, because it's where I've fallen off the wagon before. Once the weight loss slows down, I get impatient and the sacrifice doesn't seem worth it. So I gradually leave off the healthy foods and go back to my old habits. I've a bit more motivation this time, so hopefully I'll perservere.

I like women, I really do. but I'm not capable of understanding them. This puts me in good company, roughly 88 percent of all men, but it still gets to me. Why would you come to a man and tell him about a problem if you don't want him to go fix it for you? I can't go into more details as she is capable of whipping me, but if I tell you about a problem, i'm looking for help.

So Bush is sending more troops to Iraq as part of his "new" plan. I'm no expert, but isn't this the same plan that didn't work before? I'm not trying to "get him" or anything, I'm simply confused.
I don't think we can win in Iraq anyway. If we do win, it will be the IRAQI's who win because they are going to have to get the government and the nation working like it should. We can't do that. On the other hand, if we lose, it will be our defeat, because we have brought the chaos, bloodshed and civil war to them. Hopefully we/they can pull it out, but it's not gonna happen in the few months Bush is sending those troops over for. Feel free to comment, I'm looking for answers.

Well, that's all for now, I was gonna talk about poker a bit, but nothing new or exceptional has happened. Still playing, still enjoying it, just nothing worth mentioning.

Take care all, I'll have more shortly.

This is NOT a good time

2007-01-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

REALLY tough times in poker right now. I've won a combined 11 hands in my last 4 tourneys, and 2 or 3 were stone cold bluffs. I couldn't hit a flop if you let me stack the deck. And on the tables, I've lost to AK with AA and KK with all chips in preflop today as well as losing with trip 7's to the flush on the river, so I'm down a bit. I know this is part of poker, but it's not my favorite part, that's for sure. It'll turn around, the trick is to stay with in your bankroll and keep playing well. I know that getting my chips in with the best hand is a winning situation in the long term and I know that I'll start catching cards every once in a while in the tourneys. Just a matter of slogging thru the muck, that's all.

The situation that was stressing me out as of my last post seems to have been resolved. It was a fairly severe fight between me and a brother, and it had me pretty upset, but today he came over and made nice. Even said I was right to feel and act the way I did. VINDICATION!! Well, the important thing is all is forgiven AND he's not moving back in, so I have my apartment back. Family. Only thing worse than family is not having one.

Gonna ramble a bit here. I've been ....uncentered? for nearly a month. Those of you close to my age may remember commercials for V-8 where the person is walking at an angle? I feel that way. Distracted at work, trouble sleeping, restless when I'm at home and bored when I'm out. May be cabin fever, except that getting out of the home doesn't seem to work. Meditation isn't helping, in fact, right now, it's impossible, I can't focus a BIT. I have NO idea why I feel like this, I'm usually happy and relaxed (except at the poker tables). I'm torn between letting off steam with some heavy drinking, and sitting in a dark closet thinking until I've figured out the problem and resolved it.

That's all for now, time to hit the ol' hay. Check ya later!

75 dollars! Dinner is on ME!! New content

2007-01-08T12:04:00.001-08:00

Well, after moaning about tourneys, I placed 25th in the 10k tourney yesterday. Played pretty well, the only mistake I made was paying off the flush when I couldn't get away from my trip aces. Still, $75 is nothing to to sneeze at (Where did that saying come from and what does it mean?) Little boost to my little bankroll.

Since then, I've come close to the money in 2 tourneys, despite being card dead in both of them. I'm encouraged because I seem to be playing well. With a few cards, I could start cashing again regularly. I played in the $10 nl buy in tourney and did very well. But my only mistake was a doozy, costing me the money. I tried to bluff someone who had a str8. He called awful quick, I should have given up after the one try, but instead I raised again and killed my whole tourney. I call it a mistake because I could almost have folded my way into the money.

On a personal note, my diet has gone to hell the last couple of days. Just when I'm thinking my good eating and exercise are becoming a habit, a little stress sends me scurrying for the fried foods and soda. (Sigh) Still, there's no denying the progress I've made. The trick is to not let it discourage me, but hop back on my diet again and keep working at it. I need a way to deal with these eating habits that stress brings because there's no way of getting rid of the stress. Wish me luck, please.

Tourneys, Tempers, and Tables

2007-01-07T08:27:00.000-08:00

Tuff times in the tourneys lately. That's really the way it goes, tho. I make good money at them for a bit, then I endure a spell of no cards and bad beats. That's the other side of the tourney game. If you win, you win a ton. Much more than a comparable amount of time at the tables would earn. But to win, you have to play well, get cards, AND get lucky. Doesn't happen often.

So a lot of times, tourneys are just a couple of hours of boredom and growing frustration, and my temper, which isn't among the most mild at the best of times, can really start to burn. Something about hours of bad cards and constantly being drawn out on reaches inside me to the little 6 yr old boy screaming "That's just not FAIR!" I try to control it, but after a couple of tourneys the fire gets a bit hotter, and eventually, the person who decided J 7 was a good hand to call my KK with is going to hear something about his mama. I'm working on it tho.

Still, despite the dark times in the tourneys, I'm making money, because the tables are going pretty well for me. I'm not winning much, but I'm increasing my stack, and to top it off, I hit my first royal flush Friday. Saw a flop for cheap with Q 10 of spades, and the flop showed the K and J. Now, Poker.com gives a bonus for Royal Flushes, so instead of betting my draw, like I might have, I just checked, and the person behind me went all in. I had to call, of course, and the very next card was the prettiest card in the deck, the good ol' Ace of Spades.

Real quick P.S. here, I believe this demonstrates why you should not limit yourself to one type of play. When I started here, I only played tournements. Learning to play no limit cash games, then limit cash games was very tuff and I spent a good bit of money on it, but now, it pays off. You have a better chance of winning if you are well rounded. Next on my list of things to learn is Omaha. Wish me luck.

Ok, that's all for now, I'll see ya 'round, ok?

WEIGHT LOSS

2007-01-04T22:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I've now lost 20 pounds! yay!!!! Only 60 to go, lol. They say the first 20 are the easiest, tho, so it's not a done deal. Still, this is the first time I've ever got this far, so that's a good thing. I guess it's tru what they say, you won't lose it til you're really, REALLY ready to. I've tried diets/excercise, slim fast, nuti system, weight loss pills and starvation, but this time....I stopped drinking soda.

See, I started having heart palpitations, went to a Doctor, he couldn't find anything wrong with me, found out I drank tons of pepsi, and said, lay off the caffeine, see what happens. After a couple days the palpitations went away (Not as easy as it sounds, I LOVE pepsi and those caffeine headaches are NO joke.) So while I was off pepsi, I realized I'd just done one of the hardest things about losing weight. Decided to try a diet and excercize again and it's working. Working WELL. There's less of me everyday. The trick is to eat whenever I want, but eat fruit, skinless chicken breasts, lo fat yogurt, salads, etc. So I'm not hungry.

A few days ago, I got to watch a friend win an MTT. (Multi table tournement) Way to go, Alex. He and I play very alike, (style wise, I mean. he's a better player.) and so it was nice to watch him win. He was chip leader most of the way too, which, if you play like we do, is a rare occurance. Normally you hit the Final Table with, as he says, small stacks and big dreams (lol Alex) I think it was his 24th win. I have 1. hmmmm, wonder who has the biggest bankroll?

That's all for now. Talk to ya in a bit.

My Story

2007-01-02T07:12:00.000-08:00

You may not have realized it from my other posts, but I play poker. Texas Hold 'em, to be exact. I've been playing if for a while, and it all started with the WSOP. Some of my friends and I had been playing cards a few times a week-dealers choice-and I was usually big loser. Then we watched WSOP and we started playing No Limit Texas Hold 'em tourneys with a $20 buy in. I immediately started doing better, mostly because I was no longer forced to play bad cards.

Then after watching more poker on television and reading part of a book, I said,"Hey! Maybe I should be aggressive!" and started betting my ass off. Now, I knew almost nothing else about the game, but aggression was enuff for a while. I think I won 12 or 13 tourneys in a row with sheer aggression. It wasn't good poker, but it was so much fun to watch them fold their 2 pair to my 8 high.

I thought I was a shark for a while, but eventually they started calling me down and I had to learn more about the game. Still, I did pretty well. About 4 years ago, when I lost my job I was earning about half my income from those guys. Does that mean I was a poker pro? Lol. No, of course not. I was just the best of a bunch of bad players.

But we've all improved. If you were to sit down at our home game these days, you'd see a lot of good play. Most of us have won at least 1 large tourney, and Rob and I have won quite a few. But I think I'm still the best player, and the reason is online poker. I'm the only one who plays online for real money, and the experience and knowledge I've gained from playing there have been invaluable.

I started online poker about 3 years ago, when I found out about freerolls. If you don't know, freerolls are tourneys offered by some sites where you can play for free, and if you do well, you win real money. So I started playing the freerolls at different sites. I have won a couple of freerolls, actually. But it turns out there's more to poker than I thought, so I eventually lost it. And a lot of the sites didn't really work for me. I'm not saying anything bad about them (tho 1 of them totally deserves it) but I was moving around from site to site for a bit. Then I found my home at Poker.com.

I'd recommend you check them out. Great site. They offer tables with blinds as low as .02 /.04 so no matter your bankroll you can find a table to play at. Freerolls every 3 hours and other promotions as well, friendly players (Ok, not ALL of them), great player support, and a forum that kicks MAJOR ass. Don't underestimate the value of a forum when you're trying to play poker. Plus, the friendships you can form there are a real blessing. They show a lot of class, too, defying that stupid, unfair, blatantly political law about online gambling and they even paid to send players from ANOTHER SITE to the WSOP when the site those people had won the trip from couldn't deliver on thier promise. See the link below for that article.

http://prweb.com/releases/2006/6/prweb400871.htm

Now that's class. If you like poker, or are interested in learning, online poker is the place to start, and if you wanna play online poker, I can tell you Poker.com has worked for me.

Kinda turned into a commercial for them, didn't it. Sorry. But I play there exclusively for a reason, and that reason is I think they rock.

Anyway, I've come a long way, and like anything you decide to get better at, the better you get, the more there is to learn. But it's been a fun journey, and I can't wait to see what's ahead.

Tourneys

2006-12-31T22:49:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm off to a rocky start. I can't get the banner below to work. No one's on the forum over at Poker.com right now, so I'm gonna have to wait a bit.

I'll talk a bit about poker. I recently came back from a break caused by an astonishing number of bad beats, most of which seemed to be runner, runner flush. But I recently came back and I've been on a real hot streak in tourneys. I've been to several final tables and have come in 2nd twice.

It's actually kinda a sore point with me. I've cashed in many online tourneys, but have only won 1. Should be 3, I took a couple of HORRIBLE beats when they had all their chips in against my better hand, but that dreadful flop.....Still, as often as I get close to winning a tourney, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with my game that keeps me from closing it out. I've read the books, I know what to do, I've won live tourneys, but can't seem to finish win the online mtt's. Just need to work on my headsup play, I guess.

Introduction

2006-12-31T21:21:00.000-08:00

Hey, my name is Russ. Thanks for checking out my blog. I appreciate it. Still very basic, just getting started.

This blog will mostly be about poker. I'll talk about other things as well, but it's mostly poker. You need to be warned, I whine a lot.

Post comments if you wish, I like the attention.