Holy hell, what a night.

Ok, so I come out of work, and my car isn't there. I'm cussing myself for an idiot because I was running late today and left the key in the ignition. I get a ride home and call the cops. They come over to my house and...did you know you need the license plate number for your car to report it stolen? I didn't. I also didn't have it. I know the title is in my house, but I can't find it, and the cop is sitting on my sofa with "this guy is a BIG moron" radiating off his body.

Finally I say, "Look, I'll go to my insurance company tomorrow and get the info, and I'll call you back." He says ok, and gives me his card. Then he leaves. A couple of seconds later, the door buzzes and my brother answers. He comes back with a different cop behind him asking me to step outside. She says my car just pulled up. We get outside and sure enuff, there's my car, with a friend (a title now under SERIOUS danger of revocation) of mine leaning up against it. At this point, I have been vehicle impaired for more than 1 1/2 hours. AT LEAST.
"Dude, what the **** are you doing with my car?"
"I had to give Tony a ride home."
"Who the **** is Tony? And what the **** are you doing with my car?"
I tell the officers this is a friend of mine, that he wouldn't steal, he's welcome to borrow my car, he's just an idiot for taking the car without telling me.The officers tell me that
a) he told them I said he could borrow the car, (No, sir.) that
b) he said he used my car to drive a friend to his home across town (That must be Tony, but the time frame confuses me. you can WALK across town in 30 minutes), that
c) his license was suspended (huh?) and
d) HE'S BEEN DRINKING!!!! (O, I'm beating your ass, I'm beating your ass, I'm beating your ASS!)
The cop says, "I understand how you feel, but I wouldn't recommend it. And anyway, you can't do it right now, he's under arrest for the alcohol thing."
And they take him away.